In this line of business, it is not unusual to see peculiar human quirks. Infact, we're surrounded by them. After a relatively short amount of time, you become more or less immune to the general idiosyncrasies of nature.
Person changing their baby's diaper on the tray table? Alrighty then!
Old man attempting to take a piss in the back galley drain because he couldn't find the lav? Okaaaay. (Yes, this really happened.)
And yet, even so, it seems every so often I am completely confounded by what I see.
Such a case occured when I was introducing myself to my new crew members on a 4 day trip. So far I've had great fellow flight attendants to work with (okay, with a few exceptions) and I was pretty excited to see what the roll of the scheduling dice had brought together.
This time around it was a double testosterone dose; one straight, one gay. The straight guy, was a tall goofy dude, and the gay man...well...he was unlike anyone I'd ever seen before.
Because his beard was painted on. In black shoe paint.
I don't mean he had dyed his facial hair. I mean, he had no facial hair and he had overcompensated for this by putting some sort of paint on his face in a full beard design. Goofy noticed this right away, and shot me incredulous glances. He relentlessly made fun of the poor guy behind his back (which is probably why the Bearded Fairy stayed in the back the entire trip). I, on the other hand, could not find it in my heart to stare awkwardly at this thing that was absolutely impossible not to notice.
He almost seemed to be begging for somebody to say something, yet he never brought it up himself. So, for the duration of the 4 days, my conscience was wrought with the dilemma:
Do I say something? Or do I pretend to pretend its not there?
OH, THE THINGS THEY DO NOT PREPARE YOU FOR IN FLIGHT ATTENDANT TRAINING!!!!
I ended up deciding to go with the polite option, and not say anything (despite multiple questions from the captain, and several passengers).
When it got hot in the back of the 737, and the paint started to run down his chin, I practically had to shut my own tongue in a galley drawer to prevent myself from making an awkward comment.
I had hoped after awhile, I'd stop noticing it; much like someone who has a giant mole or a one eye larger than the other, or a peg leg. But no! It got progressively more difficult, as BF seemed to be oblivious himself.
"Why are those TSA boys staring at my face? I can't help it if I'm pretty. Haters."
Yeesh! What would you have done in my situation?!
I might have had to say something when it started running down his chin! I'm not sure how you held yourself together!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for continuing to share your musings and escapades. I love living the traveling life vicariously through you :-)
Thanks Jenny! I wanted to say something, but I was afraid it would make the rest of the trip awkward. We have to be around each other constantly in the plane, and nobody likes a stink in the (recycled cabin) air. I'm so happy you're following me.
ReplyDeleteI think I would have commented on it. Sometimes, people just do things to get attention, and they're disappointed if no one notices. Maybe, he just had a quirky sense of humor.
ReplyDelete"So, do painted on beards run in your family?" sounds pretty innocuous to get the conversation started.
A more subtle approach would have been to paint one on your own face and see what happened. Apparently, it's not a firing offense for flight personnel.
Your job is very interesting..
Truer words were never said! It rarely gets dull on our aluminum birds! I wanted to say something, but he seemed a little high strung and I wasn't sure if it would be welcome attention, or an insensitive offense. I daresay you would've had a bit more gumption than I!
ReplyDeleteI would have brought it to the attention of a higher up. Maybe this didn't affect his work ethic but it clearly had an impact on those around him. I have to assume that when it comes to flying, attention to detail is important especially when it comes to safety considerations. And if his faux-beard is taking any (whatsoever) of your focus away from your job then it's a problem. And as for the passengers, they have to feel like they can trust you in an emergency. Personal appearance is going to be their first impression of you and immediately give them comfort (or misgivings). If you conduct yourself in a professional manner, they will be confident than if the time comes, you will be ready to act and they will be ready to follow your instructions without hesitation.
ReplyDeleteFor me personally, if you're appearance is questionable (going beyond personal preference of fashion/appearance (like painting on a beard, for instance...)), I'd say (having not met you before I boarded the plane) that I already doubt your professionalism.
that's a very good idea, now that you mention it. Just kind of offhandedly mention it to the union people (who will call and handle the situation rather than send it to management.) he was a nice guy; wouldn't want to get him in trouble. But still—facepaint needs to be left in Braveheart.
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