I don't know exactly how to write this post. I'm currently sitting here giggling so much I can hardly type, as I remember what happened two days ago.
I was on the last leg of a 4 day trip with a flight attendant we'll call Stinky Sally, or maybe Pungent Patty?
She was always eating hummus, and when I asked her why, she explained.
When a passenger tries to put their baggage over row 4 when their seat is at row 28, or demands the whole can of Coke, or just annoys her in general she smiles to their face and then turns around and farts as hard as she can on them. They think she's just bending over to pick something up and certainly can't hear her over the turbines. That is, until the stench of nerve gas and dog crap fills their nostrils and they are left choking and gagging in their seat.
Over the years, she told me, she's developed a deadly accuracy so that it doesn't matter if they're in the aisle, middle or window seat. Sally has got 'em pegged.
So, if there is a moral or lesson to this story at all it's don't piss off the flight attendant. Do as you're told, just in case you get the one who vengefully cropdusts.
That is all.
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